Posts in life coaching
Asian Pacific American Bachelor 2015: Donald Lee

Happy Asian Pacific American Month! After living in the motherland, it's a bit odd to be in a country that needs to have a month, but hey I'll take it because...

I get to revive my favorite blog feature - introducing you ladies to an eligible bachelor of my people!

I present to you Donald Lee, a basketball coach (hi height-loving girls) with a Silicon Valley job (hi Chinese moms!). He got my vote after he defended me from an aggro internet commenter - so if you're looking for a man who stands up for your honor, leave a comment below! 

Name:  Donald Lee
Age:  41
Height 5'10"
Profession:  Senior Solutions Engineer (by day) / Basketball Official (Other Times)

Nickname: Coach41 - Years ago, after college, I was selecting a new email address. I was coaching youth basketball at the time and pagers were hot then. I used my pager code ID ("41", which is my birthday) and "coach41" was born!  

Guys, girls, both, something in between:  GIRLS

Do you cry at movies:  I'll admit it....YES.  I watched Furious 7 a few weeks ago and the Paul Walker ending was great but SAD as heck.  

Security Blanket you sleep with at night:  DEPENDS ON WHERE I SLEEP!  :D My new sofa is very comfy.  I'll have my blankets over me and I'll fall asleep with my TV on into the early morning.  Explains why my electricity bill is higher lately!

Looking for a man who can call the shots? #whydontIgetpaidtowritepersonalads

Looking for a man who can call the shots? #whydontIgetpaidtowritepersonalads

Boxer or Briefs:  Briefs!  Much more comfortable!  

Instant Turn-On:  Smile and/or Nice Legs

Deal Breaker: Smoking

Karaoke Song Of Choice:  Valentine - Jim Brinkman / Marina McBride

On A Friday Night You'd Prefer To:  
With most of my friends busy with their families, I prefer to stay active on Friday nights.  I may be officiating basketball or volleyball around the City (San Francisco).  If I'm not officiating, I will be at the gym working out (Body Pump / Body Combat or similar).  Since I am a big Warriors fan, I may be at some games during the season.  

Last Friday You Actually:  
I did not do anything I just stated above!  I had a relatively busy week with work and a few other activities after work.  With a busy weekend ahead, I chose to just decompress and relax.

Boba Flavor Of Choice:  
I actually don't drink much tea (not much of a caffeine person).  But I do like fruit drinks like Watermelon Juice or similar.  

The Purpose Of A Relationship Is To:  
Share in life's joys and divide the sorrows.  We all can have friends to fill this to some extent but that special someone is truly unique and special.  

Message to your future wife:   
I want to let you know what I will be there for you for anything you need and I hope you feel the same way.  I have many great friends but have never usually counted anyone as a "best friend".  But if I've chosen you, then you are definitely are unique enough to be called my best friend.  

Bonus Question!  
What basketball player's career most resembles the relationship you'd like to have? Why?


Deep question but ultimately an easy one.  I'd have to pick Jeremy Lin for a multitude of reasons.  As most people know, Jeremy Lin's NBA career has gone though the lowest of the lows (Warriors), the highest of the highs (Knicks) and everything else in between (Rockets / Lakers).  Through it all,  Jeremy stuck to his beliefs, got support from his friends / family and continued to improve. 

Relationships are also like roller coasters.  You go through the ups and downs.  It's important to enjoy the ups but also ride the downs as well.  You have to persist even when things are tough. Jeremy Lin has said he's learned from his down years and appreciates basketball / life more.  I also feel the same way.  When you ride the downs and get through it, you appreciate the experience.  This is what I always try to do with anything I do in life from work, to friends and to relationships.

Thanks Don! And if you ladies want to know HOW to date #tigermom style - check out my article 3 Ways Asians Got Dating Right

For dating life tune-up in general, GET COACHING FROM ME HERE

Genius Chang and the Berenstain Bears: Why Competition and Jealousy Are My Friends

Raise your hand if you had that annoying genius cousin your parents always compared you to. (Oh are you Chinese too?)

Mine is pretty unbeatable:

Name: Genius Chang (not his real name)
Grade Skipped: 1st
Instruments Played: piano, violin, clarinet
# Ivy Leagues Accepted Into: ALL of them

Even I was so impressed that I wanted to marry Genius Chang. Then I grew up and discovered you can't marry your cousin. (At least not in New York.)

Because he was out of my league, I never tried to compete with Genius - except in one thing.

When I was 4, I watched him read an entire book as easy as speaking, then throw the book at me.

"Here, you read." He sauntered off.

But I couldn't.

That night I demanded my parents teach me to read.

Over the Berenstain  Bears HE BEAR, SHE BEAR, my parents helped me turn print into gold.

Women especially shy away from competition: writers blog about the pain of jealousy and extol the virtues of going at our own pace; entrepreneurs advise us to follow our own paths and not be distracted by the success of others. 

Fine - if you're OVERLY focused on others, life gets painful. 

But this mantra of keeping our eyes on our own page also sucks the juice out of what makes us human - that we're social creatures who NEED to see the success of others in order to realize how high we ourselves can go.

Tweet it!  We're social creatures who NEED to see the success of others in order to realize how high we can go. 

If I hadn't been so envious of Genius's ability to conjure stories from squiggles, who knows how long it would have taken me to unlock this world of words I now consider my purpose in life.

If I hadn't been livid at a gal pal's weight loss a few years ago, I wouldn't have finally found the motivation to lose 15 pounds and regain not only my figure but my self-confidence and ability to dance again.

And if I didn't get jealously obsessed of every woman who's making six-figures working part-time from home, I wouldn't keep hustling and improving myself, my vision, and my work.

Don't fear the voice that says, "Damn them, why not me?"  That's exactly what the voice is asking:

"Why not, You?"

And for the record:

Name: Sophia Chang (real name)
Grade Skipped: 12th
Instruments Played: Piano, violin, guitar, mallet percussion, voice

College Genius AND Sophia chose: Harvard

Thank you, Genius Chang, for always giving me something to reach for - and surpass.


Ready to turn jealousy and ego into your minions? SIGN UP for The Experiment 2015 HERE